dysfunctional.

I've been talking to a very good friend of mine [trust me, he's amazing.] and I kind of realized a few things. For some reason, it really hit something inside of me, made me kind of depressed actually. So.. here goes.

It's just dad and I tonight, since mom took her family back home tonight; she'll be returning tomorrow. I realized that we haven't had real "father-daughter" time together. Yeah, we've spent our evenings together a bit, but most of those were discussing his ever-withering relationship with mother. To me, that isn't real bonding time, even though I have to admit I've learned quite a bit more about dad than I ever though he'd let me in on. Kudos to him. Mom... doesn't talk about anything when we have the chance besides the obvious fact, she hates dad. And it isn't very.. deep. It's just stuff like, "God your dad is an asshole." Well, yeah he can be. But I still respect and love the guy. For God's sake... he's my hero.

I dunno. It's just... dad's said [a lot] that he "isn't sure how much longer they can stay together," or "when the divorce will be." And despite how much you people think I can't handle it, I will handle it, and get over it. I want it to happen already. Not because I hate my mom, or my dad. That's not it. I love them both. But if they aren't happy with each other, then what the fuck is the point in staying together? Someone seems to think that it's because of me. If it's me, then I wish I'd disappear... I don't want them together if they don't love each other. I know this may come off as selfish - which I'm not selfish very often - but... I need someone to talk to. To share opinions with. So... yeah.

Thanks if you actually read this. If you just skimmed it, and pretended to care, you should fall in a hole.