why?

I hate the feeling of being used. And lately, it kind of seems like that's how it is.
Not that I'm saying people are intentionally making me feel that way, but... seriously, it seems like some of you who call yourselves my friends only speak to me when you need something. Whether it be entertainment, a ride, money etc... doesn't matter. But it feels like that's the only time I'm your friend is when you want/need something from me. I dunno if you mean to, but... it kind of hurts.

And... I really don't like being ignored... but it's like sometimes... when certain people come around that's all you do to me. I feel like I have to do something to earn your attention. I try to do all I can for you guys and it feels like I get shit in return except being treated like it. I hate it.

And another thing is bringing "X" into the conversation. [X=someone] It's like because I'm her best friend -- and the one who seemingly speaks to her the most -- I am to be hated. Some of you don't make an effort to speak to "X", and thus really don't have a right to accuse me or her of doing anything together. I'm sorry that since "X" is gone, that I'm the one who speaks to this person the most probably. Not my fault. "X" is still your friend, too, you know? "X" would love to hang out with you guys too, if you'd make the effort to do so.

But... seriously. I'm tired of feeling like this. Maybe it's unintentional, but it still hurts.
Wake up and realize what you're doing sometime. I'm not asking for your UNDIVIDED attention, but obviously if you can't keep up with more than one friend at a time you don't need so many around. Which reminds me of one more thing...
I've noticed how you can talk and joke and have fun with everyone else when a certain somebody is around but it's always me who faces the cold shoulder. You can pretty much pay attention to everyone except myself.

Who knows. But, you know who you are, and I think maybe we should talk about this some more.